Lost In the Real World

Looking around like Alice in Wonderland

Feeling like I’m sinking in quicksand

Searching for something I recognize—

The Hatter, the Rabbit, or a Cat that is wise

Where am I now and where do I go?

My head feels so foggy—why don’t I know?

How did I get here, what is this place?

Feels like I’m falling through time and space

Perhaps just a dream I’ll forget when I wake,

More like a nightmare, I think as I shake

It’s cold, candlelight makes it hard to see,

Echoing voices feel like they’re mocking me

This isn’t Wonderland—this isn’t a dream

I’m not the victim of some clever scheme

No White Rabbit rushing, no top hat to see,

Just lost in my head—that’s where I’ll be

No concept of time—how long have I gone?

I had to escape all the pain I dwell on

I remember being with people I know,

They think I’m still there—I never got up to go

Those are the voices I hear far away,

I hear them talking but not what they say

Their conversation continues without my voice,

I didn’t mean to leave—it wasn’t a choice

  Flight mode kicks in when something triggers my trauma

    The slightest reminder of a life of chaos and drama

    Something so insignificant that no one would notice

    A scent, word, or sound my brain doesn't miss

Sometimes I catch it and take back control,

Ground myself before I fall down that hole

Managing somehow to stay on the ground,

Other times my whole world spins around

I know I should fight to find my way back,

Survival mode feels like a twisted life hack

I’m safer in here than I ever am there,

They don’t even notice—don’t even care

  Still, I focus and find 5 things I can see

    4Things I can touch but don't feel real to me

    things I can smell, and things I can hear

    The fog lifting, the room looking clear

No one welcomes me back to the here and now,

No one noticed I left—never questioned how

Makes me wonder why I even return,

No concern shown, no lessons learned

Still, I found my way back from Wonderland,

Back to the real world and all its demands

I’ll never quite fit or belong anywhere—

In Wonderland, at least, it’s okay to be wrong there

One day I’ll go and never return,

Reality matters only if you discern

I’ll sit with Alice, play croquet with the Queen,

    Off with the heads of the cruel and the mean

By Simple Sue

From: United States